threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize