I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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