Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize