WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
