This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
