Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Who did Billy Mays play for?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
