He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
