bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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