Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
