he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I skipped work to stalk him.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
