Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
