i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize