Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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