I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
NoShamevember. You game?
third nipple confirmed
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
