my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either way he was missing a nipple.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize