i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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