I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
