I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
