im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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