Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

your tears are not going to buy me drinks...

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(517): View more from Michigan

at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.

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(845): View more from New York

you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic

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(773): View more from Illinois

You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(908): View more from New Jersey

this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night

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(916): View more from California

Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.

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(585): View more from New York

You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?

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(360): View more from Washington

Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.

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