i permit you to call me
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
