i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
