just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize