I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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