one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
