Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
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