I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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