Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
