Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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