he shaved USA in his pubs
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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