went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize