morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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