she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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