That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize