How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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