Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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