Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
