Where are you?
In a non slutty way
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize