It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
