I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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