if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
