omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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