my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
