I wannas sexs uuuuu
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Couch. On fire.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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