It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
