You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize