SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dicks are not precious.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
