i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
