Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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