sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
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The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
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cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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