Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
