The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
