yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
