No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I cannot find my penis.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
