Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
