You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
