that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
