using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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