walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
