Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
