she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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