Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
