My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
