Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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