That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
