She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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