in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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