Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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