I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
