I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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