what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
